The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize