Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
