apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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