AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
