They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
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I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
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You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize