she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
