Apparently you make a good broom.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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