Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
