How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
