Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
