Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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