I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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