Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
