I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
