Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
A bitchslap is in order.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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