6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
