how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
