Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
