would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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