I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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