Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
