He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
