i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
