My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
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his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
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Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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