On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
