Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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