There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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