I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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