so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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