I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
