Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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