hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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