What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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