if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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