Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
