Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
