dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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