worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
