I am spending my child support on dildos
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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