how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
