if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
