If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
