My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
