Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
