I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize