your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
