I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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