awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
