i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
