ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
