I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize