Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
