the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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